As a dog: A fierce hunt for the passing vehicle | A Solo Show by Eugenia Vereli

June 13, 2019September 20, 2019

He starts his day warm and clean far away from the snowy peaks for which, his thick fur is destined. Now, he seldom sees the sheep he ought to guard only through the windows of the car during a road trip to the country-side. He rubs his body on our luxurious carpets and piously licks his filthy paws. He often seems to ignore my yell, though always willing to bend his head under my censorious shaking finger, without even tempting to use his strong jaws.

It is a mystery how he can live without a motive, with a strong awareness that even if a change would come he could do nothing about it. However, this seems not to make him anxious. He fussily repeats his life with pure joy as if he is taking part in a sacred ceremony. I marvel at his stolid gaze in front of the shocking news shown on the TV screen. Although seeming fool, one could firmly state that he is full of an uncanny and mysterious spirituality.

I surely dominate him, but sometimes I feel like I serve him as a God.

I think I feel like him in times, I really daily. I consider all those hours that remain intact from all of these that balefully concern me. I prepare my breakfast meticulously every morning even though I am late and I enjoy a hot bath every night even in the case of an easy and restful day that leaves no sweat to wash away. I surrender in trifling delights reserving a comfort post of a kind of sobriety against to what is going to happen.

So, I relent to the futile as an attempt to resign from the sphere of right and wrong, of good and evil, of what must and what must not.

I construct an immune interior from where I can look not as an adoption of an indifferent gaze but as a constant seeking of a place for sighting free from the feasibility of participation.

There, I work without the stress of the final result constantly approaching the elusive meaning that hides in pure performance, in the instant joy of creation.

Even if I sometimes worry about working without an aim, I forget it straight away when I watch him come back breathless and gladsome after the fierce hunt of the passing vehicle.

October 2018